You owe me & other relationship killjoys.
What happens in relationships with couples?
We meet and find each other to be so very lovely. We get along so well that we end up marrying.
But then what?
6 ways to kill the JOY of partnership
1. Conditional Love
Conditional love is the opposite of true love, a beautiful quality of being that actually provides someone space to be themselves. Conditional 'love' is not love at all. Conditional love is a demand that you be a certain way before I bring my all. You need to love me, do things for me and care for me before I love you. You provide a picture for me first then I decide to love you. If you do not behave in the way that I want you to then I will withhold my affection, communication and commitment to our relationship. Hmmmm. Not feeling the love here.
2. I need you to complete me.
This one is a killer. You make me whole. You are my other half. You feel good then I feel good. There is not one ounce of love in this. To need each other is to have the other person be our saviour, to fix us or to make life better. We cannot rely on another person to 'save' us we have to save ourselves. It's up to us to heal, reset and evolve, not expect others to do the work we can only do.
3. I do more than you.
The comparison and competition in a relationship that shows up through what we do day to day. Competing completely diminishes any intimacy within the relationship. Wanting the other person to do the same as us and have the same input into the home and family etc, completely robs the relationship of the nature flow of what each person brings to the team.
4. Be like me.
We all have our strengths and our certain flavour in life. As a couple we can be very different but work together well, until we want our partner to be more like us. We are not built the same nor do we have the same expression in life. Honour your strengths and stay in your lane. You bring you and I will bring me and together we can move side by side as one.
5. Second Date, no thanks.
Hands up who would go on a second date with their partner if they meet them today? No thanks? Hmmm time to shake of the apathy, boredom and lack of attentiveness to the self care and self enquiry. When we say 'I do' we also say I will self care, I will take care of my life and I will be available and willing to evolve, if not then why committ?
6. I love you, Only.
This one is the BIG Bomb. We are not here to love only one person. If the love emanates from us, then is it not equally for all? Therefore our relationship with our partner is an ongoing relationship with ourselves, the love that we are and the love that we express to them as well as others. Obviously romance is reserved for our partner, but keeping our hearts open is apart of being in the joy of a relationship. Spend your day with your heart open and connected to the world and watch your relationship with your significant other sore to the heavens. Love expands us all.
Our relationship with our main squeeze is an opportunity in every moment to learn and grow from within and from each other. Setting our standards with respect, love and appreciation and allowing the other person the space to be themselves, means that the rest is then set for a match made in heaven.